June Rowlands and Dick Enberg!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2017 by joecetta

After a fifteen day lull in action here, things have started picking up entering the Christmas weekend. Always seems to happen! Former Toronto mayor June Rowlands and legendary sportscaster Dick Enberg beat the holiday traffic yesterday, at ages 93 and 82, respectively! Rowlands was the first woman elected mayor of Canada’s biggest city, serving from 1991 to 1994, after years spent toiling on city councils and in alderman positions. Way to persevere! Enberg’s lengthy career included calling eight Super Bowls, three Olympics, Wimbledons, Masters, MLB on NBC, Notre Dame football, UCLA basketball, San Diego Padres games, and much more. Oh my!

And Sarah manages to still make this a contest, picking up 17 points on Rowlands, moving within 55 of the lead. Look, with only nine days to go, I know it’s unlikely, but it’s not impossible by any stretch – we’ve had six deaths this year scoring 55+! Could happen! Meanwhile, Bats continues to have a great season, crushing his previous high in points and tying his most deaths, picking up 28 with Enberg and solidifying his spot ninth overall. Well done!

Replacement picks due next Friday!

Also, KEEPERS ARE DUE TOMORROW. I’ll email stragglers!

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2018 Keepers!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 21, 2017 by joecetta

Remember, Keepers are due by Saturday, December 23rd at midnight CST!

Kristen G./Kevin – Team Dondos!

Abraham Farrah
Abu-Jamal Mumia
Ahern Lassie Lou
Asner Ed
Assia Lys
Ballantine Betty
Bohm Gottfried
Boniperti Giampiero
Boyd Alan
Burdick Jocelyn
Carey Diana Serra
Carlisle Mary
Chakiris George
Chambers Anne Cox
Champion Marge
Danz Luise
de Cuellar Javier Perez
Dynamite Kid
Emshwiller Carol
Gilbert Johnny
Gilbert Lewis
Hall Scott
Hart Bret the Hitman
Hunt Marsha
Kanjorski Paul
Lawler Jerry the King
Le Guin Ursula K
Leachman Cloris
Lee Stan
Lipton James
Lusk Don
MacLeod Gavin
Mercier Sheila
Morganthau Robert
Morison Patricia
Okerlund Mean Gene
Patera Ken
Pavlow Muriel
Race Harley
Reiner Carl
Roche Kevin
Sawyer Connie
Schoendienst Red
Smith Jack Bullas
Sobell Morton
Stahl Nick
Stevens John Paul
Talley Darryl
Van Dyke Dick
Winn Larry

Kristin M.

Bergman Marilyn
Bisoglio Val
Blaine Hal
Brown Robert
Burke Jr. Jack
Carnesecca Lou
Chomsky Noam
Dahl Arlene
Dennison Jo-Carroll
Dent Frederick
DiFronzo John
Dinkins David
Donat Peter
Feiffer Jules
Fyfe Robert
Gibson Hutton
Gilot Francoise
Hitchcock Patricia
Indiana Robert
Kirby Bruce
Kruger Hardy
Lorenz Eduard
Macy Bill
Maranne Andre
Papas Irene
Pearce Donn
Pei I.M.
Phillips Leslie
Prince Harold
Raspail Jean
Ryan Mitch
Silva Henry
Spanos Alex
Stewart Peggy
Storm Tempest
Van Doran Charles
von Bulow Claus
Wagner-Lafferentz Verena
Whitman Stuart
Wiseman Mac
Yong-nam Kim

Mike Walsh

Amato Angelo
Angelakos Michael
Bach Richard
Baer Jr. Max
Bart Peter
Basil Toni
Blount Mel
Bundy King Kong
Bushwick Bill
Butler Geezer
Butterbean
Camp Jesse
Carroll Diahann
Cepeda Orlando
Collins Bootsy
Daley Richard
D’Amato Al
D’Amico Jackie the Nose
Daniel Brittany
Delon Alain
Dick Andy
Dillon Denny
Dolan Larry
Dole Elizabeth
Doumanian Jean
Dr. Dre
Duggan Hacksaw Jim
Elia Lee
Ellison Harlan
Flack Roberta
Flores Tom
Fogle Jared
Foster Norman
Foyt AJ
Gomez Selena
Harris Rolf
MacGowan Shane
Markie Biz
Moffat Donald
Muresan Gheorghe
Murray Brian Doyle
Rigg Diana
Ruddy Albert S.
Saturn Perry
Swit Loretta
Vincent Jan Michael
Wendt George
Whibley Deryck
Will George
Yulin Harris

Rob

Aames Willie
Abrahams Jim
Adams Cindy
Adams Maud
Adderley Herb
Adjani Isabelle
Ad-Rock
Aikman Troy
Akaka Daniel
Albright Madeleine
Alda Alan
Allen Paul
Al-Maliki Nouri
al-Sadr Muqtada
Alworth Lance
Anderson Anthony
Anka Paul
Anthony Casey
Applegate Christina
Armstrong Lance
Arnaz Jr. Desi
Arpaio Joe
Arquette David
Arroyo Miss
Arthur Carol
Ashley Brooke
Attenborough David
Baker Diane
Baldacci David
Bambaataa Afrika
Barger Sonny
Barney Lem
Barr Douglas
Baxter Jeff Skunk
Bell Bobby
Berlusconi Silvio
Bethea Elvin
Blackman Honor
Bradshaw Terry
Braxton Toni
Broccoli Barbara
Brown Bob
Brown Chris
Brown Willie
Caan Scott
Campbell Earl
Carson Harry
Carvey Dana
Casper Dave

Joe

Beetlejuice
Brock Lou
Brooks Mel
Burns Jack
Campbell Maia
Campbell Vivian
Carter Jimmy
Clapton Eric
Connery Sean
Dale Dick
Day Doris
Donen Stanley
Douglas Buster
Drozdov Darren
Forte Nick Apollo
Gleason Steve
Glitter Gary
Kelly Jim
Kilburn Terry
Kramer Larry
Lollabrigida Gina
Lunden Joan
McDonald Country Joe
Mixon Jerod
Moore Sara Jane
Moore Tedde
Needham Connie
Oswald Porter Marina
Parkinson Gary
Patton Virginia
Persoff Nehemiah
Prowse David
Quaid Randy
Rain Douglas
Randolph Joyce
Rich Adam
Rimmer Shane
Roach Freddie
Rubik Erno
Saint Eva Marie
Sammartino Bruno
Sayers Gale
Severinsen Doc
Simon Neil
Stempel Herb
Steve-O
Strawberry Darryl
Weinstein Harvey
Whitfield Anne
Xishun Bao

Kosmala

Allen Raymond
Bagwell Buff
Banks George
Barlow John Perry
Becker Jason
Bordallo Madeleine
Cohen Lynn
Costa-Gavras
Davis Dan the Duke
Grau Shirley Ann
Hardy Jeff
Hart Jimmy
Hensel Abby & Brittany
Juan Carlos I of Spain
Kamala
Karl George
Lightfoot Gordon
Lindh John Walker
Lupus Peter
Malenko Dean
Malvo Lee Boyd
Martinez de Peron Isabel
McCaskill Claire
Mercado Walter
Miller Allan
Mineta Norman
Munro Alice
Muraco Don the Magnificent
Naipaul V.S.
Nelson Don
Ono Takashi
Putski Ivan
Robinson Brooks
Sabu
Sammartino David
Santana Tito
Sawyer Ray “Eye Patch”
Schell Ronnie
Schilling Curt
Sherman Richard M.
Sirhan Sirhan
Smith Steve
The Amazing Johnathan
Valentine Greg the Hammer
van Pallandt Nina
Van Peebles Melvin
Wilson Pete

Eileen

Allen Woody
Allred Gloria
Andrews Julie
Armani Giorgio
Barton Mischa
Belushi Jim
Benson Tom
Bergen Candice
Bonaduce Danny
Buffett Warren
Cher
Clinton Bill
Dench Judi
Duggar Josh
Fleetwood Mick
Gibson Mel
Grammer Kelsey
Herman Pee Wee
Hogan Hulk
Idol Billy
Jenner Bruce/Caitlyn
Jenner Kris
King Stephen
Kissinger Henry
Lauper Cyndi
Lloyd Christopher
Lohan Lindsey
Manilow Barry
McCain John
Nader Ralph
Nugent Ted
Odom Lamar
Pence Mike
Philbin Regis
Polanski Roman
Pop Iggy
Powell Colin
Reid Tara
Richards Michael
Rodriguez Michelle
Sanz Horatio
Shatner William
Simmons Gene
Spelling Candy
Steinem Gloria
Thornton Billy Bob
Travolta John
Trump Ivanka
Van Halen Eddie
Voight Jon

Bats

Anderson Michael
Avalon Frankie
Bachman Randy
Bailey F Lee
Baker Ginger
Bardot Brigitte
Beck Aaron T.
Beck Jeff
Berry Ken
Blake Robert
Boone Pat
Brunson Doyle
Bubas Vic
Burdon Eric
Caine Michael
Cardin Pierre
Caron Leslie
Chaney John
Clark Petula
Clary Robert
Corman Roger
Daltry Roger
Damone Vic
Densmore John
Dickinson Angie
Duvall Robert
Eden Barbara
Fabray Nanette
Ferlinghetti Lawrence
Finney Albert
Ford Doug
Franzese John Sonny
Fry Hayden
Grant Lee
Hackman Gene
King Larry
Lewis Jerry Lee
Lynn Betty
Malone Dorothy
McCarthy Cormac
Morricone Ennio
Newmar Julie
Novak Kim
Rather Dan
Roeg Nicolas
Schifrin Lalo
Shula Don
Tyson Cicely
Wallace Lee
Woodward Joanne

Buonins

Adler Jerry
Bakker Jim
Barker Bob
Blatter Sepp
Carrey Jim
Channing Carol
Choudhury Bikram
Clark Dwight
Cleary Beverly
de Givenchy Hubert
Doherty Shannon
Duering Carl
Dukakis Kitty
Duvall Shelley
Fleiss Heidi
Flynt Larry
Frankland Noble
Funk Terry
Goodall Jane
Greene Shecky
Hamilton Scott
Harper Valerie
Jodorowsky Alejandro
Kidder Margot
Kiick Jim
Knight Suge
Lange Artie
LaRouche Lyndon
Lesh Phil
Lloyd Norman
Lydon Jimmy
Lynn Vera
MacGraw Ali
Maharis George
Marchetti Gino
Marcos Imelda
Miyazaki Hayao
Mortensen Chris
Presley Priscilla
Queen Elizabeth II
Quessenberry David
Shaw Tim
Stallone Jackie
Tierney Maura
van der Sloot Joran
Wolff Lester
Wouk Herman
Wyman Bill
Yeager Chuck
Zohn Ethan

Capone

Aldren Buzz
Angelos Peter
Bacharach Burt
Bannister Roger
Belafonte Harry
Bennett Tony
Blix Hans
Bowden Bobby
Conrad Robert
Conyers John
Crosby Norm
Daily Bill
Donner Richard
Downs Hugh
Duncan Charles
Ford Whitey
Gelman Larry
Graham Rev. Billy
Greenspan Alan
Gulager Clu
Halas McCaskey Virginia
Heater Claude
Holbrook Hal
Holmes Larry
Ivory James
Jones Quincy
Jong-un Kim
Larsen Don
Little Richard
Lockhart June
Maren Jerry
Mayweather Roger
Miller Dick
Newcombe Don
Poitier Sidney
Pope Benedict XVI
Rae Charlotte
Randi James
Roberts Jake the Snake
Robertson Pat
Ross Marion
Rowlands Gena
Scantlin Wes
Scully Vin
Sheridan Liz
Shultz George
Simpson O.J.
von Sydow Max
Warren Lorraine
Westheimer Dr. Ruth

Gardons

Baylor Elgin
Bean Orson
Berman Chris
Brokaw Tom
Brown Jim
Bynes Amanda
Carew Rod
Cheney Dick
Collins Phil
Curry Tim
Dion
Douglas Kirk
Dylan Bob
Fakir Abdul Duke
Franklin Aretha
Garr Teri
Geist Bill
Ginsberg Ruth Bader
Gooden Dwight
Griffin Archie
Havlicek John
Jackson Keith
Jeanneret Rick
Johnson Wilko
King Don
Koufax Sandy
Lil Wayne
Lynn Loretta
Mason Jackie
Mayhew Peter
McVie John
Mellencamp John
Minnelli Liza
Mitchell Joni
Moore Sam
Morrissey
Nash Graham
Nelson Willie
O’Connor Sandra Day
Phillips Mackenzie
Remy Jerry
Reynolds Burt
Richards Keith
Robinson Frank
Russell Bill
Sinatra Nancy
Sorvino Paul
Starr Bart
Welch Jack
Wood Ronnie

Jeff

Agee William
Arkin Alan
Bassey Shirley
Benjamin Richard
Benvenuti Nino
Bluth Don
Bouton Jim
Brickman Marshall
Brimley Wilford
Brown Jerry
Burstyn Ellen
Butler Jerry
Cannon Freddy
Cariou Len
Chiba Sonny
Clark Joe
Cronauer Adrian
Crum Denny
Devane William
Eastwood Clint
Eggar Samantha
Flynn Ray
Goddard Mark
Gotti Peter
Greer Germaine
Hagon Garrick
Haig Sid
Hamilton George
Hedren Tippi
Hudson Hugh
Johncock Gordon
Jones Gwyneth
Kopelson Arnold
Kotto Yaphet
Lavin Linda
Lester Tom
Lopez Trini
Lugosi Jr. Bela
McNally Terrence
Morrissey Paul
Murdoch Rupert
Olmedo Alex
Owen Beverly
Priest Pat
Robbins Tom
Robinson Marian
Scott Ridley
Scott Willard
Wilkens Lenny

Mike M

Admoni Nahum
Ames Ed
Angell Roger
Aparicio Luis
Backlund Bob
Bannon Steve
Bernstein Walter
Caligiuri Fred
Clinton George
Davis Willie
Delvecchio Alex
Drahos Nick
Farrakhan Louis
Flair Ric
Funk Jr. Dory
Guler Ara
Harada Fighting Masahiko
Hardin Jerry
Harrison Richard Benjamin
Hedison David
Herzog Whitey
Hilton Barron
Holliman Earl
Iglesias Gabriel
Jeremy Ron
Kaline Al
Kowalski Stanislaw
Lansbury Angela
Manning Chelsea/Bradley
Manziel Johnny
Mondale Walter
Mutombo Dikembe
Pepitone Joe
Perot H. Ross
Pope Francis I
Robertson Si
Shannon June
Sherwood Don
Stallone Sylvester
Stanhope Doug
Steiner Scott
Stevens Chuck
Stiller Jerry
Tequila Tila
Teutel Sr. Paul
Vitale Dick
Volkoff Nikolai
Walker Mort
Wee Man
Zimmerman George

Munchak

Aaron Hank
Baker Tom
Beatty Ned
Brooks James L.
Burnett Carol
Burrows James
Bush Barbara
Bush George H.W.
Cleese John
Daniels William
Davis William B
DiBiase Ted
Farr Jamie
Feldon Barbara
Gary the Retard
Gilliam Terry
Guy Buddy
Hampton James
Harris Rosemary
Helmond Katherine
Hirsch Judd
Inhofe Jim
Jaffee Al
Lane Mills
Larroquette John
Lawrence Vicki
Lear Norman
Mahoney John
McCartney Paul
Morse Robert
Neidhart Jim the Anvil
Newhart Bob
Nichols Nichelle
Plummer Christopher
Raphael Sally Jessie
Segal George
Sikking James
Smothers Dick
Smothers Tommy
Stockwell Dean
The Amazing Kreskin
The Honky Tonk Man
The Iron Sheik
Topol
Vader Big Van
Van Dyke Jerry
Walter Jessica
White Betty
Witt Paul Junger
Worley Jo Anne

Nick M

Abraham F. Murray
Adler Lou
Anderson Arn
Andress Ursula
Baker Joe Don
Baryshnikov Mikhail
Chong Tommy
Coleman Dabney
Collins Joan
Collins Judy
Cox Ronny
Daniels Charlie
Davidson John
Douglas Michael
Dreyfuss Richard
Eubanks Bob
Glover John
Harris Estelle
Hogan Paul
Hunt Linda
Jackson Joe
Jacobi Derek
Keillor Garrison
Kennedy Tom
Marshall Frank
Marshall Penny
McDowell Malcolm
McKellen Ian
Moreno Rita
Reed Rex
Robertson George R.
Rydell Bobby
Sedaka Neil
Stevens Connie
Struthers Sally
Struycken Carel
Vinton Bobby
von Furstenberg Diane
Ward Fred
Winwood Steve

Ryan

50 Cent
Aguilera Christina
Anderson Loni
Anderson Pamela
Ann-Margret
Armstrong Billie Joe
Baldwin Daniel
Beatty Warren
Beefcake Brutus the Barber
Blaine David
Blitzer Wolf
Brockovich Erin
C.K. Louis
Cedric the Entertainer
Charo
Chestnut Joey
Chung Connie
Clarett Maurice
Cusack Joan
Depardieu Gerard
Diamond Dustin
Dion Celine
DMX
Dolezal Rachel
Hilton Paris
Hoffman Dustin
Hogan Nick
Humpty Hump/Shock G
Jackson Randy
Jameson Jenna
McGraw Dr. Phil
Michaels Brett
Osbourne Sharon
Osbourne Super Dave
Pastrana Travis
Prince Charles
Queen Rania of Jordan
Ramsey John Bennett
Roethlisberger Ben
Rose Pete
Roth David Lee
Rourke Mickey
Rousey Ronda
Trump Eric
Trump Jr. Donald
West Kanye
X-Pac
Zuckerberg Mark

Sam

Abdul Paula
Albert Marv
Barr Roseanne
Blume Judy
Breyer Stephen
Brown Bobby
Brown Mike
Bundy Cliven
Chavez Julio Cesar
Checker Chubby
Cobbs Bill
Cohen Ben
Cosby Bill
Deen Paula
DeNiro Robert
Dickinson Janice
Disick Scott
Ditka Mike
Dole Bob
Downey Jr. Robert
Feldman Corey
Foreman George
Fox Michael J.
Gehry Frank
Graham Superstar Billy
Gravano Sammy the Bull
Greenfield Jerry
Hagar Sammy
Hatch Orrin
Hawking Stephen
Hearst Patty
Holyfield Evander
Hull Bobby
Jackson Jesse
Jackson Katherine
Jofre Eder
Jones Tom
Kennedy Jr. Robert F
Kilmer Val
Knight Bobby
Koch Charles
Koch David
Love Courtney
Madoff Bernie
O’Neal Ryan
O’Reilly Bill
Osbourne Ozzy
Scorsese Martin
Sheen Charlie
Tutu Desmond

Sarah

Allen Marty
Andretti John
Ballard Kaye
Bentley Lisa
Binzer Shifty Shellshock
Boers Terry
Bracknell Leah
Brigance OJ
Brown Ami
Butler Henry
Campanella Joseph
Carman (Licciardello)
Carrington Lord Peter
Carter Rosalynn
de Havilland Olivia
Edrich John
Elias Rayya
Evans Robert
Gregg Forrest
Guitar Bonnie
Hayes Wade
Iacocca Lee
Jean Gloria
Johnson Katherine
Killen Edgar Ray
Latham Louise
Levy Marv
Lima Devin
MacGregor Katherine
Marinovich Todd
McClellan Gerald
McDonald Ricardo
Mubarak Hosni
Odjick Gino
Olczyk Eddie
Otto Jim
Perry William Refrigerator
Peyton Craig
Phipps William Edward
Pointer Priscilla
Presle Micheline
Radziwill Lee
Ronstadt Linda
Schottenheimer Marty
Sellars Elizabeth
Stobbs Alex
Williams Mary Elizabeth
Williams Montel
Yastrzemski Carl
Zorich Louis

Sean

Ahmadinejad Mahmoud
Al-Assad Bashar
al-Baghdadi Abu Bakr
Baio Scott
Baker James
Bonds Barry
Bowman Scotty
Bradley Bill
Burris Roland
Busey Gary
Butkis Dick
Carradine Keith
Castro Raul
Culkin Macauley
Empress Michiko
Ferrigno Lou
Fontes Wayne
Goodman John
Gorbachev Mikhail
Gumbel Greg
Hall Michael C.
Hastert Dennis
Jones James Earl
Kardashian Khloe
Kardashian Kourtney
Khāmene’i Ayatollah Syed Ali Hoseyni
Limbaugh Rush
Lovell Jim
Madden John
Martin George R.R.
Moore Michael
Mr. T
O’Donnell Rosie
Olsen Ashley
Olsen Mary-Kate
Patrick Danica
Prince Philip
Reid Harry
Reinsdorf Jerry
Rumsfeld Donald
Ryan George
Salman of Saudi Arabia
Trump Donald
Vanderbilt Gloria
VelJohnson Reginald
Williams John
Young John
Yushchenko Viktor

Skeides

Anderson Louie
Assange Julian
Christie Chris
Coleman Ronnie
Conway Tim
Freeman Morgan
Jackson LaToya
Jolie Angelina
Kardashian Rob
LaBeouf Shia
Luger Lex
McConnell Mitch
Minogue Kylie
O’Connor Sinead
Sandusky Jerry
Simmons Richard
Testaverde Vinny
Trevino Lee
Walters Barbara
White Ron

Steve

Aniston John
Arnold Tom
Auberjonois Rene
Bartholomew Dave
Belichick Bill
Clayton-Thomas David
Crosby David
Daniels Anthony
Davidson Pete
DeVito Danny
Dr. Demento
Eisner Michael
Flava Flav
Gaither Bill
Gambon Michael
Hudson Garth
Koenig Walter
LaBelle Patti
Letterman David
Lieberman Joe
Morrison Van
Mouskouri Nana
Newman Randy
Newton-John Olivia
Nicholson Jack
Nicklaus Jack
Nighy Bill
O’Brien Richard
Ono Yoko
Parton Dolly
Pesci Joe
Povich Maury
Pride Charley
Prine John
Quivers Robin
Rice Anne
Richards Renee
Robertson Robbie
Schwartzenegger Arnold
Seger Bob
Silver Sheldon
Stone Sly
Stookey Paul
Sutherland Donald
Takei George
The Dalai Lama
Watts Charlie
Whitford Brad
Young Neil
Zmuda Bob

Cardinal Bernard Law!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 20, 2017 by joecetta

The arrogant, evil, manipulative tyrant, seen here with Fidel Castro

It has often been said (by people other than me) that one should not speak ill of the deceased. Somehow, the act of dying is punishment enough, I guess, and so people get a much rosier view of the less than savory characters traipsing through life once they’re gone. I’m guilty of this too – in this space I try to focus on the positives when available, while hoping to avoid the all-too-common instinct to place someone into a pantheon of genius once faced with their absence (e.g., George Michael pronounced one of the all-time greats only after his death, when I think we all remember this was not the case during his life, nor should it have been [unexpected shots fired at Wham! this morning!]). And so, much of the time, a person’s transgressions get swept under the rug, or severely downplayed, when we take their life into summation, and many Death Pool posts are no exception.

This, however, will not be one of those posts.

Bernard Francis Law, longtime Archbishop of Boston and member of the College of Cardinals, was an unconscionable, amoral nightmare in the guise of a decent, caring human being – a self righteous, insufferably pious, underhanded monster who placed the unwarranted high esteem of the church above the well being of thousands upon thousands of children, unknowingly thrust under the aegis of continuously rotated pedophile priests, their crimes and perversions hushed up, their victims disbelieved or just plain ignored. Beyond the countless lives shattered in the name of shielding the good name of the church, and the subsequent horrors brought upon their families and communities, this imbecile actually managed the complete opposite outcome in regards to the church itself. His participation in the massive cover-up, public denials, and lawsuits did massive (and deserved) harm to the institution – Catholicism has a higher rate of losing members than any other religion in America over the last ten years (with 13% of all Americans identifying as “former Catholics”), estimates place Catholic school enrollment down by two-thirds over the last fifteen years, while the church has paid something in the neighborhood of $3 billion in settlements and court costs over the last sixty years. Three billion dollars!

And Law obviously isn’t the only person responsible for all of this – it was a vast conspiracy of institutional disregard that brought about this widespread crumbling of the faith. Hell, it’s hard to say Law is even the upper most person you could point to in the scandal, despite largely being the face of it (Stay tuned to this space for our eventual take on Joseph Ratzinger, a.k.a. Pope Benedict XVI!). But at least he resigned, right? And many priests signed a petition urging that resignation – the church was trying to get on the right side of it! Oh, but after he resigned he moved to Rome, where Pope John Paul II gave him a position, and he remained an influential figure in the church for the rest of his life, including participating in the papal conclave that elected, you guessed it, Joe Ratzinger. And Law is on record grousing about how he got a raw deal in Boston. And John Paul II was made a saint. There’s the Catholic Church, ladies and gentlemen, of which I’m still a member.

And yes, we haven’t had a death in over two weeks! 15 days after the only other December casualty, Sean picks up his second of the month, scoring 24 points for Cardinal Law and jumping to third in the Wright! Nicely done!

Don’t forget, keepers are due Saturday by midnight! Check your emails and get cracking!

Death Pool 2018 Begins in 25 Days! Confirm Your Participation!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 6, 2017 by joecetta

We can deal with all the details later – keepers and draft dates and team mascots – but for now, current Death Pool players, I just need to lock down who’s staying and who’s going for 2018. Send me an email (joseph.cetta@gmail.com) or text me saying you’re in for another year of this soul-boiling mayhem. If you don’t want to play in 2018, I completely understand, but just let me know, using whatever colorful terms you’d like. Don’t ghost me like I’m some awkward ex! I’m needy and not intuitive.

Keeper limit is going to be 50 again, plus the wife and I have kicked around the idea of throwing some sort of survey out to you guys, to see why the hell you keep playing this game, if you have any ideas for improvement, and where your level of encompassing rage stands given no one has won the pool besides the commissioner since 2013. Be on the lookout!

That’s all for now! More to come soon!

King Michael I of Romania!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 5, 2017 by joecetta

The last king of Romania officially vacated the throne for good this week, at the age of 96! Named boy king at the age of 5 after his grandfather Ferdinand I died in 1927, his father (who had absconded into exile with his mistress) returned three years later to reclaim the throne, whereupon he plunged the country into an alliance with the Nazis and general villainy abounded. Deposed in 1940, Michael retook the throne and eventually orchestrated a coup to remove Prime Minister Ion Antonescu to align Romania with the Allies. Sure, Romania was already basically out of the Axis business by this point, what with the Soviet Union at the doorstep hurling the Germans back across Europe, but it has been estimated that this coup may have sped up the end of the war by as much as six months! Good on you, King Mike! In 1947 he was forced to abdicate and the monarchy was abolished and he went into exile, only returning for a rare speech and hand waving here and there over the next 50 years, before the fall of communism in Romania when he was again allowed to come hang out in the homeland. Very boiled down, this is what happened. Interesting!

And Sean finally secures his third death of the year, with 14 points on King Michael moving him up a few spots in the overall. It’s been a pretty light 2017 for Sean, but we’ve still got the better part of a month remaining to improve some positioning. And with Michael I we are running a few deaths ahead of last year, and right about even with 2015 record total. The mid 130s appears to be where we’ll end in deaths from now on!

Replacement pick due by next Tuesday!

Found Deaths! Ann Wedgeworth, William Coleman, Jimmy Cotton, and Lynne Stewart!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 4, 2017 by joecetta

If you’re new to the Death Pool concept of found deaths, here’s how it works –  I’m a flawed man who cannot be expected to find all deaths in real time, no matter how hard I try, so periodically some folks slip through the cracks during the course of the year, and (hopefully) I track them down before New Year’s and award points accordingly. Today, folks, is that day!

I also tend to find people who died in years past, and those points are not awarded, and you straight lose people from your teams who you thought were still eligible players. Tough luck, chumps! I myself lost one of these people today, so there is no bigger chump than me! More on this later!

On flipping back into last month and discovering actress Ann Wedgewood (d. 11/16, age 83) was on Kristen G.’s team, I decided to take a look at all squads, and turned up three more deaths, all in March! What the hell was I doing in March to miss these folks, you may ask? Beats me! But former Secretary of Transportation William Coleman (d. 3/31, age 96) was with Mike M., blues musician Jimmy Cotton (d. 3/16, age 81) was another member on Kristen G.’s roster, and Sammy the Bull Gravano/Omar Abdul Rahman lawyer Lynne Stewart (d. 3/7, age 77) resided on Team Jeff!

This punched Kristen G. and Jeff both into triple digits on the year – Jeff reaching his all-time high in deaths – while Mike M. picked up a little breathing room in fifth overall! Sorry about the delayed scores, folks!

And who was just straight removed from the pool, with no points awarded? I had 102 year old actor Shep Houghton, who died last December – no idea when this actually went public, maybe sometime in the summer. The Buonins had Sheila Sim, who also died last year, and points were actually awarded for her, so I don’t know what the hell happened there. And Mike M. found himself on both sides of today’s discoveries, losing world’s shortest man Chandra Bahadur Dangi, who died way back in 2015, and again, I have no idea when the world found this out. Sorry, all!

Replacement picks for these found deaths are due by next Monday!

Jim Nabors!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 4, 2017 by joecetta

Longtime Gomer and part-time singer Jim Nabors went back home again to Indiana for the last time last week, at the age of 87! Nabors turned his nightclub act into a national sensation in the form of dim bulb gas station attendant turned U.S. Marine Gomer Pyle on The Andy Griffith Show and Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (I don’t believe he ever popped up on Mayberry R.F.D.). He was Emmy and Golden Globe nominated for his various eponymous talk shows, received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1991, and was named Worst Supporting Actor by the Razzies in 1983 for his work in the Burt Reynolds NASCAR mess Stroker Ace. Notably, he was the host of the second episode of The Muppet Show to air (the sixth episode filmed), where he sang “Thank God I’m a Country Boy.” Oh! And he sang “Back Home Again in Indiana” before the start of the Indianapolis 500 for over 40 years, despite being born and raised in Sylacauga, Alabama. Huh!

And Capone takes the lead in Total Deaths, matching his all-time high from last year with 14, and moving into third overall in points! Well done!

Replacement pick is already in! Thanks!